Now, a few things you might notice from the helpful Ronco link I've provided:
01. "Uber-swanky" is a bad choice of words...
02. ... unless I was feeling sassy when I wrote that sentence...
03. ... which I was.
04. And that the product photo CLEARLY shows the dinner being skewered horizontally through an upright chicken.
Because you're a bright duck, I bet you can guess how we skewered our chicken. Let's say that our two college-educated brains decided to adjust the chicken so the breast was facing the side wall of the oven. That's right. We got the extremities of the wings and drumsticks extra-crispy. The breast? Not so much. In fact, the chicken looked like a Northern European sunbather in Brazil. Brownish-pink on the edges, and totally vanilla pudding in the middle.
This, by the way, is also how I'd look, if I were to sunbathe in Brazil. Or anywhere else on God's green earth. I'm a pasty bit of Irish/German engineering with the Greek parts thrown in for the sheer mathematic danger of it.
