Once I was in high school, I managed to fade into the wallpaper amongst my similarly-brained AP student classmates. Although, for a bunch of nerds, they were so good looking, they could've had their own Saturday morning TV show. Is nothing sacred?
But, despite all this suffering, I thought the best place for me would be on stage. I Was To Be An Actress. During my senior year of high school, I was cast as the lead in an independent feature film. Suck that, nerds. However, no one cared. I just missed my prom and graduation. And nobody missed me.
What's that, you ask? The sound of a thousand violins?
A million years ago, my mom told me that Shyness is Selfishness. I hated when she said that. But now I see what she was getting at. Opening up to the world relieves shyness. Being shy or introverted is a way of holding back, or not giving. This acceptance helped me realize that if I don't care about other people, they're not going to care about me. They're not even going to think about me. They're not even going to realize that they're not thinking about me. They're just going to gloss over my existence like I became extinct during the last ice age. Ah, yes! The Terami. An unremarkable species. Little, to no contribution towards the evolution of her kind. And that makes me crazy-sad.
So, for the past bunch of years, I've been working on socializing myself. At 18, I found it was easier to start befriending adults, instead of my peers. For a while, I swirled in awkward grown-up circles, until I found my way to art school. Once in art school, everyone was just as socially malformed as I was. We could have conversations on the wavelength of Black, and arguments on the emotional effect of film grain. It dawned on me that it's not necessary to feel comfortable around everyone I meet, so long as I'm able to find My People, every now and then. In my house, we take the hippest route possible, and call them PLUs - People Like Us. So, the next time you shake my soggy hand, know that I'm looking you in the eye and thinking, "Oh, Magic 8 Ball, is this one of my people?" And because the 8 Ball is kind, I'm finding that more and more the answer is You May Rely On It.
Dear Terami,
Those are some pretty deep insights. You may be wondering why I am commenting on your latest post at 3:00 AM EST. First, I am fascinated by your essays. Second, I am a bit of an insomniac and finally, I just got back from a huge networking event. Which brings me to the relevant part of my comment.
In developing my business, I have found a niche in Architectural Photography, I go to a lot of networking events, specifically to those with a real-estate bent. Tonight I went to a huge industry event which was attended by over 2000 people. Meeting 2000 people can be intimidating but as you, or your mother, point out Shyness is Selfish and so, (fortified with a couple of cocktails) I endeavored to meet as many of those 2000+ people tonight.
Of course, being in a large room of New Yorkers I met some fascinating people who were just as eager to meet me and I had a grand time. I met a very attractive woman who has an import/export business specializing in furniture from Bali. I met an interesting and energetic yound man who is studying conservation based architecture. The list goes on and on, and I once again find myself grateful for the life I get to live.
Walter J. Lee
Posted by: Walter J. Lee | on March 17, 2006 12:30 AM