As things are "finishing up" over here - which is a phrase I use in quotation marks because of the subjective nature of its concept - I find myself feeling more and more like an untreated shopaholic. Instead of being at the checkout counter saying...
"Ooooh. I didn't know this sweater also came in PLUMB! Do you think plumb is my color? Or should I stick with the pumpkin? What if I got both? Do you think my husband would kill me?
Oh, and look! You sell scarves that match. God, I love to accessorize. Plumb or pumpkin? Or both?
Can I take these home and return them later if my husband doesn't like them? Besides, I like to see myself in a natural light when I'm unsure about colors.
Is that ok?
Let's do it.
I'll take both.
And the scarves.
And throw in that lovely wintry perfume while we're here. I'm tired of smelling like Roses."
Instead...it's...
"Oooh. Bjork's new one is soooo inspiring. Should I take out the instruments in this song and hire a choral group to record the melodies instead? Will they fit in my living room? I'd have to rent a fleet of microphones though, right? Scrap that.
Maybe what I need are PIANO SOLOS! I could just do a fun little floppy improv. The whole album has too many lyrics. What do you think?
OK. I was just listening to the new Regina Spektor...and, wow. Love those lyrics. Maybe my lyrics are good after all. More lyrics. Except...mine aren't funny like hers! Do you think this album is too somber? Shouldn't it be fun? Oh, god. I'm not fun. People are going to think I'm a pretentious lyricist who lost her sense of irony around All Girl Band. Shit.
Although, you know who TRULY inspires me? God. Paul Simon. If I could meet any artist on the planet, it would be him. What would HE think of this album? He'd hate it, right? Yeah. He would. Cuz I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I should start over. Oh god. I can't. I suck."
DearSweetJesusPeople. Thank God every day that you weren't born A Terami. I'm a Pisces, Virgo rising ("A very good sign / Strong and kind" - Joni, Joni.) and despite Ms. Mitchell's compliments to my astrological birthright, it's a VERY lame sign. Bah. Can't move forward because my own feet are in the way.
So as I've set an early November finish date on the producion, I hope to meet an early January date for mixes. We'll see. The only way this is gonna happen is if I MAKE UP MY MIND FOR CHRISTSAKE and finish already.
It's time to let it go.
xo
T.
