Is it wrong that when I heard the doorbell ring, I peeked out of my studio window and decided to leave those lovely evangelical women staring blankly at the door? And isn't it SO wrong that one of those women was holding a toddler? It's not that I'm against The Lord or anything like that. In fact, I recall one time as a teenager that I invited two strangers into my parents' home to discuss these things. But today, no. Not only do I not enjoy the discourse of religious debate anymore (let alone the persuasive nature of being preached to), but I haven't even showered yet.
I admit it. I'm one of those people who pretends to not hear or see the people on the street as they enthusiastically thrust pamphlets towards me. Or else I say, no thanks. But I'm definitely NOT one of those polite people who take the paper and then throw it away. That feels worse, somehow. (Although there is yet another option. I could take and save the fliers and decorate a small bulletin board with the kitchy art and funny religious quotes. My friend does this. Though, I think he's going to hell too.)
But it's not just preaching stuff. It's also when people try to give me free samplers, coupons for stuff, or something equally wasted on me. It's my silent protest of saying, "Don't bother me. I'm an unfriendly, unkind soul who is threatened by you." Or else I'm saying, "I'm a superior individual and I will not lower myself to acknowledging you." Either way, I come out looking pretty bad. When I'm out with Katie, she actually TALKS to these people. How shitty does that make ME? Usually, she'll talk to them immediately after I've pretended to not hear them - which forces me to stand there, feeling guilty for my rudeness while the Pusher shoots me evil looks.
There is no grace or dignity for me here.
So that's why (no matter how kindly or non-threatening) the evangelists may be, I cower by the window in my office and watch the clock in an immature game of "how long will they stay on my doorstep until they give up?".
And, of course, this extends into my music. People have suggested that I hand out fliers at other local shows, etc. Dear Lord, don't they know how much I DON'T want to be one of THOSE PEOPLE? (And of course, the karma would return to me with thousands of rude, rejecting people, causing a landslide of PityMe feelings.) But, yes, I'm sure that I'm not a megastar right now because I haven't peddled advertisements for my shows by the exit of local clubs.
Ooh. This entry is evil. Karma is definitely gonna get me. Does it help to say that I chit chat with grocery baggers and I tell supervisors when a waiter, customer service person, or other helper has been good to me, as I attempt to get them a raise, or at least an Employee of the Month mention? (Run-on sentence, anyone?)
xo
T.
np: Jesca Hoop _Seed of Wonder_
