For all the chaos in my head, I'm especially tidy in my organization. The songs written for E29 are filed in separate folders depending on the liklihood of their inclusion on the album. The definite ones are in the "master" folder with a mock playlist detailed on the outside. The completed but rejected songs are in the "rejected" folder. The not-so-completed but decent songs are in the "bleh" folder. And the not-so-completed and completed hideous monsters are in the "round" folder conveniently found on the floor, next to my desk.
For the first time in several weeks, I let Kevin hear some of the songs I've been working on. He agreed that two of the possible album songs should be nixed. So we're down two more. Actually, we're down so many, I'm full of failed songs.
Don't know why, but I take comfort in hearing about other artists' struggle to create to their standards. I think about Happy Rhodes and the whammy her label put on her (according to her web log). It gives me a strange bit of relief to know that losing touch with your confidence isn't unusual and in fact can make you a stronger artist.
This weekend my extended family was asking me about the album and how things were going. I felt like such a boob to say that I was still months behind. You'd think I was also a busy brain surgeon with such a hairy schedule that I couldn't make time to write and record. But no. Here I sit, day after day. Only a few relative distractions. And I smash my way around the piano - trying to dig up something that resembles myself. It's embarrassing.
And in other news, Kevin is working on some promotional segments for Survivor (you know...the tv show). It's awesome! When he comes home, I try to eek some spoilers out of him, but he won't tell me. Apparently, there's something about a confidentiality agreement. ;-) Damn.
np: inner_lovetheonlyway_
